


calling you inside again, calling you home

by outruntheavalanche



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Belonging, Character Study, Finntrospection, Gen, Identity, Introspection, Names, Not Beta Read, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Searching For Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/pseuds/outruntheavalanche
Summary: Finn wonders—as he often does, in these quiet, lonely moments—what his first name was. The one given to him by his parents before he was snatched from their arms and fed into a machine that spit out perfect soldiers.





	calling you inside again, calling you home

**Author's Note:**

> I started thinking about names. 
> 
> Title from "Saying Your Names," by Richard Siken.

“Finn Dameron. _Finn Dameron_.”

Finn repeats the words in front of the mirror in his ’fresher over and over, hoping they’ll start to sound right. Hoping it will sound like it belongs to him.

_Dameron. Finn. Finn Dameron._

They cycle in his brain on an endless loop, but they don’t quite sound right together. 

“Finn… Finn Solo?” he asks his mirror image, lifting his eyebrows questioningly.

But, no, Finn Solo doesn’t sound right either. 

Neither does Finn Organa, Finn Statura, Finn Kalonia, Finn Tico, Finn Connix, nor any of the other names he’s seen pinned to Resistance members’ breasts since they settled into their new base. 

Finn sighs and ducks his head as he washes his hands. 

Finn wonders—as he often does, in these quiet, lonely moments—what his first name was. The one given to him by his parents before he was snatched from their arms and fed into a machine that spit out perfect soldiers. He wonders what will happen when he finally finds them—and Finn knows that he will—and they call him by another name. Will it fit him as perfectly as Finn does? Will he collect names as Rey does bits of twine, screws and bolts, scraps of flimsi, and other things most people wouldn’t consider worth collecting in the first place?

Was it so important for Finn to have a last name? Would choosing a surname of his own do a disservice to the mother and father who bore—and lost—him? 

He finishes up in the ’fresher and steps out into the hallway. Droids roll and stagger past, paying him no mind. Resistance members—some he recognizes and some he doesn’t—flit by, with their shining nameplates and badges. 

Finn tugs at the front of his jacket and looks down at the shiny badge on his own chest. 

**FINN**. 

Just Finn.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be _just_ Finn. There’s no one else like him on the base. As far as Finn knows, he’s the only one with just one name. Even General Leia—who’s known as General or Princess or just Leia—has her full name on the badge she wears when she’s pressed into wearing her full regalia.

He’s the only one.

Finn is well acquainted with that feeling.

He rubs his fingers over his durasteel badge—over his name—until it gleams.


End file.
